The TRUE, Secret, Esoteric, “Insiders’ Trick” to the Perfection of MINDFULNESS


I’ve taught meditation for over 15 years,  in five different countries,  and to 1,000s of others, to various degrees, around the World via the Web. I regularly spend weeks at a time on intensive meditation retreats,  usually they’re 10-14 days,  but I’ve been on a few lasting one to three months.  Intensive meditation retreats,  as opposed to Dharma study retreats are usually in complete silence,  and I’ll spend, on average, 8-12 hours per day in actual seated meditation,  and 24 hours per day,  in the practice of Mindfulness. 24 hours per day? Yes,  it may seem hard to comprehend without having done so,  we actually do have a great deal of control,  no, correction,  we have the potential to have complete control over every moment of our minds’ foci, including the time we are asleep.  I can remember,  liker it was yesterday, being on retreat in northern Whales,  and I noticed that I started to do something that I shouldn’t,  and I IMMEDIATELY turned my focus back towards “Pure Awareness,” which is a Mindfulness meditation that does not use an object to focus on,  such as the Breath, but simply maintains single-pointed focus,  without any clinging to any object of the mind.  What was so interesting about this,  is that I was fast asleep. But I knew I was not to indulge in any desire for sensory experience,  whether that be chocolate, wine, sex, or any number of unlimited things that the mind will attempt to grasp hold of when it is trying to be tamed.

Anyhow, my point is that I had become a Samurai, a Ninja, or something…Supernatural! My Mind has become a finely tuned instrument that would make any German engineer,  or Swiss Watchmaker Green with ENVY! But then would come the inevitable time when I would return home from retreat,  and I could slowly feel the “Bubble” start to thin,  and slowly burst. “The Bubble” is a term that any proficient meditator is familiar with,  it’s exactly as I just described,  it’s going from having the ability to control your dreams,  and meditating for many,  many hours per day,  back to the hustle and bustle of the “real world’ and all of it’s detractions, in flagrant flaunting of sexual distraction,  the sensory overload of just walking into any supermarket and seeing so,  so,  SO many CHOICES! (Yes,  what we might think as being liberating; the potential have 87 kinds of cereal,  is actually HIGHLY disruptive to one;s ability to focus.) That’s why it’s always a good idea to transition back into the “real world”,  AKA known as Samsara: the Endless rounds of birth, old age, sickness, death,  and rebirth, aging, sickness, death, and rebirth….on-and-on,  ad infinitum. If you jump too quickly from the perfect stillness and focus of a profound retreat,  back into the busy world, well it’s a little like taking a glass baking pan from the 400 degree over,  and putting it under cold water. Yes, the juxtaposition is so jarring that it just CRACKS!

But anyhow,  I am here to tell you the esoteric secret,  that which only a Bodhisattva can know,  but I am going to break the rules.  That is,  unless you’ve been paying attention,  then you could already guess.

Is it being initiated by some famous Lama who’s tight with Richard Gear? No,  that doesn’t do much. Well that’s not totally true,  everyone knows that :”The Placebo Effect” does actually bear statistical significance,  so chatting some sacred words,  or sprinkling some holy water can do just that; have a statistically significant effect.

But what you’ve heard me say is that the amount of time spent practicing,  and the more conducive the conditions,  the far greater impact your practice will have. So yes,  I fooled you into reading my Blog.  The secret is that there is no secret. The SAME way Charlie Parker learned to throw down some Bee-Bop,  the same way you get to Carnegie Hall, or make it to the Olympics is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.

The number one Hindrance of real progress in Mindfulness is DOUBT. “I’m not in the right posture! My guru isn’t as good as yours! I should be wearing a Komodo instead of this Tibetan yellow hat! Lama Riphoche wasn’t feeling well when he initiated me! I should be doing Vipassana,  not Shamata! and on-and-on,  ad nausium!

They have doubts,  that doubt robs them of any dedication and commitment,  and it’s like trying to use a bicycle pump to fill a truck tire that has a big hole in it! It’s not going make any progress if all of your energy,  your Viriya is wasted with ever-shifting thoughts.

Meditation was probably discovered by mistake.  Hunters would have to sit perfectly still,  yet remain fully aware for long period of time,  And THAST MAIN TENENT of BUDDHISM IS Conditioned-Coproduction.  The law of universe,  is just like math. or chemistry.  And it’s more like the Scientific Method,  than it is about “Ascended Masters” (whatever that really means….) The Buddha Experienced at its deepest, most profound,  Experiential level that ‘this being,  that becomes.  This ceases,  that ceases to become.” THAT is the “Aha!” moment under the Bodhi Tree.  Not intellectually,  Experientially,  the difference is,  well,  EVERYTHING.

Some teachers are better than others,  conditions are more conducive than others,  some techiques are appropriate for some than for others…yes,  yes,  yes…. All of these matter.  But what hangs most people up the most is that they pick up a saxophone,  they play with it for a while,  they don’t sound ANYTHING like Charlie Parker,  so they get bored,  they doubt themselves,  and they RATIONALIZE some excuse to move on to something bigger and better.

ow its beyond  the scope of this blog,  now,  to go into the details of how to navigate these pitfalls,  but when in count,  sit down,  relax,  sit up straight,  and just let yourself  breath.  Count each breath,  1-10,  then start over at 1,  and repeat.  Do it for 5 minutes today,  twice a day,  then  more to 10 minutes,  then 15,  then 20…. The MOST likely answer isn’t something OUT THERE,  or something inherently different about You. The problem is your Doubt, it’s you minds way of fidgeting its way out of doing something,  when it would rather be continually chasing the NEXT,  New THING,  and when that’s not new, something else,c somewhere else,  etc,  etc,  etc. You’re losing the “battle” because you’re surrendering,  and not in the Skillful sense of the word.

Relax; It’s not a race.  Just breathe.  and WHEN,  not if,  but WHEN you find yourself somewhere else,  in your mind,  DO NOT EXACERBATE the problem by trying to figure out WHY,  or HOW you got there, simply,  gentle,  without judgement,  or commentary, place your attention back on the breath. THAT is the actual SECRET to meditating and Mindfulness.

Because we aren’t fixed, static entities.  I can’t control my dreams now.  I KNOW that if I repeat the conditions,  I can get there again,  but its just not realistic,  at this time and place.  Accept it,  and gently,  with compassion,  and acceptance,  turn and place my attention back on this keyboard. All sorts of seemingly Superhuman abilities ARE ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE.  I have experienced some of them first hand,  some many times.  But not today.  But I do KNOW the recipe for creating them,  and if that is my priority,  I can reproduce the conditions,  and reproduce the outcome. Its ALL relative,  in that sense.   70 year old that runs 5 miles per day,  or an Olympic decathlete, they might be the same person,  or they might be more appropriate goals for some,  with what we are willing to do,  what conditions are we willing and able to provide.  Because unlike athletics,  which I love,  meditation will be much stronger if you do some everyday,  when you’re older,  your set-point will be much further than the youngster,  who is in the olympics. So this is an investment that pays EXTREMELY WELL on its dividends.

But not if you give up,  and sell them at the first sign of a dip in the selling price. Meditation is one of those sticks that you KEEP,  and thew more mind you pay it,  the Return on Investment you shall reap.

(By the way, Lame Rimpoche is a generic term and title. It means “precious teacher.” If I had a dollar for everyone who asked me if I know who Lame Rimpoche is,  well,  I’d have a lot more dollars.  I only say this because I used it as an example,  and don’t want anyone to think I referring to a specific person.  I was not.  I was referring to the phenomena that people confuse What is the Dharma with what is Tibetan,  and What is Japanese. THAT is another tool that our mind LOVES to use to keep us from progressing along the Path to Enlightenment.

So,  no matter how much,  or how little,  or what specific style you’re doing; SOMETHING is BETTER than nothing!

So,  with Mindfulness; Strive On!!!

About Dharmamitra Jeffrey Stefani

ABOUT Dharmamitra Jeff Stefani: Myers-Briggs Personality Type: INFJ Meditation + Dharma Teacher; Mindfulness-Based Therapy; Only Here, Now: Awake-to-Oneness; Filmmaker/Video Producer, Photographer, Editor, Traveler, Public Speaker, Author, Nature-Lover, Outdoor Leadership + Education, Wilderness Medicine Medical Physiologist (Human) Modern Psychoanalyst Lean Startup Founder + Managing Director of: OPTIMIZED Digital Marketing, LLC (A True Buddhist Right-Livelihood Business) Organic SEO + Local SEO Search Engine OPTIMIZED Content Campaigns, Strategies + Tactics; Relationship UnMarketing; Social Media Engagement; Brand/Customer Loyalty Programs Web 3.0 + Digital Marketing WordPress Website Design + UXE ODM, LLC’s Office Address: OPTIMIZED Digital Marketing, LLC 512 E 11 Mile Rd Suite 300 Royal Oak, Michigan 46067 United States ODM, LLC’s Office Phone Number: +1 (248) 425-1821 ODM, LLC’s Office Email: ODM Website: http://OptimizedDigitalMarketing.Com http://BuddhistInsight.Org •Twitter Accounts: @DharmamitraJeff (Dharma Account) @JeffreyStefani (Work Account) OPTIMIZED Digital Marketing, LLC; Organic Search Engine Optimization + Local Search Engine Optimization; SEO Content Strategy + Campaigns • Facebook Profile: Dharmamitra Jeff Stefani • Facebook Pages: † Sharing The Buddha-Dharma: Triratna Buddhist Community: Detroit-Royal Oak † OPTIMIZED Digital Marketing, LLC (ODM) •Google+ Profile: Dharmamitra Jeff Stefani •Google+ Pages: † “Buddhist Insight” † OPTIMIZED Digital Marketing, LLC (ODM, LLC) Why Content Marketing, Organic-SEO, Local-SEO, SEM, SMM + WordPress Integration?! GREAT Question! OPTIMIZED Digital Marketing, LLC (ODM, LLC) is a part of the “New Earth,” “Awakening Global Consciousness Movement”... A True “Buddhist Right-Livelihood Business” ... “Relationship UnMarketing” = TOTALLY UNLIKE TRADITIONAL MARKETING... It’s All About Relationships, EQUAL + FAIR PRACTICES, Having an Interactive Voice + Brand Online Marketing = “The Great Equalizer”... That Levels the “Virtual Playing Field” Buddhist Right-Livelihood Business [Don’t be silly and think that “Digital Marketing” is in-and-to-itself something superficial, unethical, or At ALL "Inherently Bad”... I help Buddhist, Non-Buddhist, For-Profit, Start-Ups, Local and Small-Medium Sized Businesses, Organizations, Non-Profits, Anyone or Anything That IS an Ethical Organization (They need SEO just as much, if not MORE So, than the Big Companies!) May ALL KNOW Joy, Love, Wellness, Success, and Freedom from KNOWING the *Causes* and *Conditions* of Joy, Love, Wellness, Success, and Freedom from All Suffering! 🙏💚😌 Mettā, Sati, Karuna, Upekkhā... Peace and Love ALL! ~The Dharmakaya

Posted on November 7, 2012, in Austerities, Be Her Now, BLOG, Buddha, Buddhism, Carpe Diem, Chan, Dhamma, Dharma, Eternalism, Ethnocentricity, Freedom, Happiness, Health, Hedonism, How to Meditate, India, Life & Death...., Life of the Buddha, Meditation, Mindfulness, Nature, Nihilism, Quotes of the Buddha, Sadhu, Science, Spirituality, Taoism, The Meaning of Life, TRUTH, Uncategorized, Vegetarianism, Wellbeing, Zen and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Way to harness that mindpower!

  2. Jeff, thank you for visiting and liking my blog. I appreciate the follow as well. I didn’t know you had a blog. I guess that’s what happens when one’s not fully aware of one’s surroundings and gets easily distracted by many shiny objects…like the overwhelming choices of cereal! Wow, even your writing in your blog shouts, “Hey! Look over here!! I’m a very interesting, wise, funny and wuvable being!!!”😀 Continue being the bright sunshine that you are Jeff. I have no doubt that your Love & Light will touch many souls. ^_^

    • This my second attempt at responding…but apparently my first didn’t “take.”
      I’m so happy to find two great friends on WordPress! You and Dj Sojourner, from twitter.

      I really love you blog, as I said before, i could have sign my nam to the bottom of your “about me” section, (or something like that..could have been the first blog on the page that I read) and it would describe my past year Very Well.

      I Truly Love you, and thanks to you; all I have to say, or think about is “Wuvvable” and my smile shines and my heart glows with warm, fuzzy wuvvable feeling :)(are there two “Vs” or just one?)
      I am totally new to this…just been on for a few weeks and am continually getting frustrated at how difficult this WordPress thing is…and I was debating this or my own URL domain!!

      So PLEASE share any feedback or advice to any ‘tricks” that you’ve figured out.
      I LOVE your blog, and I can tell I need to learn to write shorter blogs, too. (I seem to either just write a pith little sentence or two, or it turns into 10 paragraphs. Your blog is NICE and Beautiful, and EASY TO READ, yet really fascinating and thought provoking.

      okay, I am going to try to post this and see if it world before I write another 10 paragraphs.
      I SURE WISH we could meet in “real life”, I would love so much to be your “non-virtual” friend🙂 :))

      • Lol Jeff, you always brighten my day/night.😀 Thank you so much for sharing your loving thoughts with me as usual. I use one “v” for “wuvable,” but you’re more than free to use two…or even three!😉 I’ve just been doing the basics on WordPress, so there’s no special tricks that I’m aware of. I’m probably still in the crawl phase of WordPress. I heart you. ^_^

        • I HEART you MORE!!🙂🙂
          I tried two Vs and it didn’t look right to me, either.
          I was just telling someone about you..and how wuvable you are, and make me feel such love.🙂
          I appreciate the reply about WP insights. Its slowly coming along.
          I’m just happy to share it with you!🙂

          • Hello Sunshine!😀 You’re right, more than one “v” doesn’t look right. It’s funny that you mentioned me to someone, because I did the same. You’re one of those souls whose sparkling energy hangs around, so I catch myself thinking about something you said, and it brings a big smile to my face. ^_^ Have a great day JOY!!!

          • You are EXACTLY that kind of Soul to ME!! I have Immense Love and Gratitude for our Connection. I truly Love and Embrace you…whomever you are, in the details of your life are not so important as Who/What you ultimately are. I Whole and Open-Heartedly Accept You, and ALL of You, JUST AS YOU ARE NOW, without exception or reservation.
            Is That Even Possible?!?!

            ABSOLUTELY!!🙂 I Wuv you, my Wuvable Friends🙂 BIG “Virtual” (((((HUGS)))) 🙂

          • Jeff, I appreciate your choice to embrace the ALL of me…it means a lot. It just shows how willing you are to BE Unconditional Love, which is rare. We live in a very judgmental society right now, and to meet souls like you is very refreshing! You must be an alien, because I haven’t met too many human beings like you.😉 You can tell me. Lol You’re definitely a highly evolved being, and I look forward to building a great and lasting friendship with you. Just like I was telling one of my sisters today, you can express the ALL of you, and I will always love you. You may be a so-called “virtual friend,” in society’s eyes, but through my eyes, and in my heart, you are a very special spiritual friend who touches my soul. A wise, sister-like friend once told me that it’s not about how long you’ve known someone, or how often you spend time with them…when you form a spiritual relationship, there’s an instant bond between two souls who merge as one. You just FEEL the connection, the love, and you can fully express yourself and be confident that you won’t be judged by the other. She was one of those few souls who embraced the ALL of me, and I just intuitively sensed it. I will forever treasure her in my heart. You, too, have been added to my collection of awe-inspiring souls. Thank you very much for BEING wonderful You. ^_^

          • Now I really DO want to have your Babies!!😉
            If I only liked infants…. anyhow. You’re absolutely right, we are True friends, I do love you Unconditionally, as much as possible in a conditioned universe. Although since we transcend the conditioned, it is unconditional, yet at that level we One, so there’s no you or I to love–just pure Consciousness. I also agree with what you say about knowing someone; its the depth and breadth, and quality, not quantity, as well as how full open one’s heart is to give and receive love. On all this factors, I concur, I know your essential nature, and I accept you as you. (I’m a Bodhisattva, not an alien, although in this world, there’s probably equal amount ofd both. But that’s my secret. And I owe a lot to psychoanalysis and meditation for integrating my emotional, conscious and subconscious energies in a synergetic manner. I’m a Whole me, and not afraid to show my heart, inside-out. Vulnerability is a major asset, not liability, as most men seem to feel, or think. I wuve you, y sweet friend…and i hope we can meet in-person, someday.🙂

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